Summer 2007 was pretty much the worst summer imaginable. We had a period of 10 weeks where we didn’t have 24 hours without rain. This wasn’t just the usual “soft day”. This was tropical monsoon rain. Tag rugby pitches were destroyed by mid-June.
Summer 2008 has only been marginally better as we still have rain at least once a day but it’s not always the heavens flushing their toilet onto us and while sports pitches are a little soft, they are playable.
Anyway, Irish people don’t really do joy & happiness very well. We’re much better being miserable sods moaning about stuff so without further ado, I bring you the best of weather-related gallows humour this summer.
Q. What do you call two straight days of rain in Ireland?
It only rains twice a year in Ireland:
1. August through April and
2. May through July.
Q. What’s the definition of an Irish optimist?
A. A man with a sun visor on his rain hat.
“I can’t believe it” said the tourist. “I’ve been here an entire week and it’s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?”
“Well that’s hard to say” replied the local. “Last year, it was on a Wednesday.”
A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who threw them into a lake of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side.
After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow’s curiosity got the better of him. He strolled over and tapped Old Nick on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, there, Your Darkness,” he said. “I’m waiting in line for judgment, and I couldn’t help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?”
“Ah,” Satan said with a grin. “Those are the Irish. I’m letting them dry out so they’ll burn.”